Male Bonding

I’ll run out and get your damn beer
Not to impress your friends
who showed up
invading my couch
and fridge
and Sunday
To watch another flat screen event involving
swearing and
sweating and
scoreboards.
Only to leave empty pizza boxes
and toilet paper rolls.
Exiting with bear hugs and lame offers
“If you ever get tired of him, I’m available.”
Not likely.
Sure, I’ll run out now.
And keep quiet.
And make nice.
Because later
When ESPN replays the footage
and gives the final standings
you’ll be thanking me properly.

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